just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
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i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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