the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
third nipple confirmed
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
