if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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