I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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