My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think i got beer on your cat.
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