i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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