I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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