Don't make out with my wife yet
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
