whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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