Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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