fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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