remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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