Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dick very happy bro
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
