I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
