This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
