You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
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Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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