you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
