I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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