i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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