i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
nutella sex= disaster
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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