omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
