just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
id be glad to
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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