Sry I called you an 8
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
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I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
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I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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