Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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