my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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