Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
