I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
