is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
