you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
