Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
