he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I looked at my own cervix.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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