And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
