Betty ford says i'm here all night
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize