I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if only i could text you this smell
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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