to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
