apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
