I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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