So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
farters have to be the big spoon...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
