Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize