We're facebook friends in real life
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
