Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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