dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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