i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
