Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  her vagine was all disorganized.

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  (630): her vagine was all disorganized. http://tfl.nu/l46f
  Replies (5) Good night (695) Bad night (1372)
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  (626): View more from California

  What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

  (1-626): View more from California

  You have mice?

  (626): View more from California

  no why?

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  (626): What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans? (1-626): You have mice? (626): no why? http://tfl.nu/7zgo
  Replies (15) Good night (3842) Bad night (983)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.

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  (440): it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time. http://tfl.nu/xax0
  Replies (21) Good night (1249) Bad night (7697)
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  (631): View more from New York

  we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

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  (631): we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars, http://tfl.nu/j4u2
  Replies (14) Good night (5189) Bad night (897)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.

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  (908): So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ff78
  Replies (31) Good night (3015) Bad night (5904)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.

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  (417): This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer. http://tfl.nu/gsk7
  Replies (10) Good night (3542) Bad night (1049)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?

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  (303): At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea? http://tfl.nu/yszl
  Replies (6) Good night (3357) Bad night (1017)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  you goin out tonight?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  who is this.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  your orgasm for tonight

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  (302): you goin out tonight? (267): who is this. (302): your orgasm for tonight http://tfl.nu/bzdn
  Replies (12) Good night (5236) Bad night (927)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"

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  (630): For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey" http://tfl.nu/xp9h
  Replies (19) Good night (806) Bad night (2931)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

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  (610): I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top. http://tfl.nu/ogkq
  Replies (4) Good night (1489) Bad night (660)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.

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  (719): It would have been the trifecta of dick for her. http://tfl.nu/7ntl
  Replies (7) Good night (937) Bad night (1251)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  What's an angry pirate?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

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  (702): I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again. (712): What's an angry pirate? (702): You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/pzvl
  Replies (32) Good night (1313) Bad night (1777)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation

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  (303): I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation http://tfl.nu/r6lh
  Replies (1) Good night (1068) Bad night (468)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?

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  (505): Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel? http://tfl.nu/w9sg
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.

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  (440): You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids? (330): Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice. http://tfl.nu/lps6
  Replies (4) Good night (1141) Bad night (359)

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