I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize