Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when does round two start

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent

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  (202): when does round two start (703): I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent http://tfl.nu/4op2
  Replies (0) Good night (1171) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.

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  (617): There's a vagina buried somewhere in there. http://tfl.nu/t83u
  Replies (7) Good night (569) Bad night (4360)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options

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  (416): the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options http://tfl.nu/sle9
  Replies (4) Good night (3553) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.

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  (780): Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance. http://tfl.nu/w65a
  Replies (17) Good night (3259) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.

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  (724): Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted. http://tfl.nu/tz2e
  Replies (41) Good night (16932) Bad night (2403)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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  (407): I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist. http://tfl.nu/erea
  Replies (11) Good night (3779) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.

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  (612): i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning. http://tfl.nu/nqu5
  Replies (17) Good night (3528) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1662) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"

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  (207): So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night" http://tfl.nu/8ia2
  Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.

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  (847): I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives. http://tfl.nu/c9ce
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

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  (301): Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level. http://tfl.nu/wvpb
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just really need a hug and a shower beer

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  (512): I just really need a hug and a shower beer http://tfl.nu/4ssr
  Replies (5) Good night (894) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.

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  (504): From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra. http://tfl.nu/w04v
  Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.

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  (508): Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about. http://tfl.nu/fvng
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.

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  (310): I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady. http://tfl.nu/hbci
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (389)

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