my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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