dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
