why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
