Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
