What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Small penises have feelings too.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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