Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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