So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
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You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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