all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
