dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They took my balls.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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