a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
