I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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