I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize