I look better un-naked...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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