I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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