Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
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The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.