you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker