I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
