He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
