if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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