She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
