I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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