Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.