I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.