There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless