no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.