I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.