just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
