WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
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Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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