The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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