I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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